My son rarely talks, how can he write?

Re: My son rarely talks: how can he write?

Here’s a note I got on this subject:

Dear Fred, My 10 Y.O. son is very quiet and has trouble saying or explaining his thoughts. He has always been this way. He also dreads writing. How can a person write well if they can barely speak or converse very well? ANd what can a parent do?  On the other hand, my 11 yo daughter can talk your ears off….she has so much to say. She loves to write and will write for hours! Is there a correlation between good speaking skills and good writing?  Thanks for your help

My Response:

Thanks for this question…I’m quite sure you are not alone.  Writing isn’t connected to talking a lot (in fact, most of the studies give the advantage to the introverts…it seems the extraverts don’t won’t to write it down if they’ve gone ahead and told it to someone!), though there are exceptions everywhere.  The problem when people are quiet is ALMOST ALWAYS that they are attempting to figure out how to say the right thing before they speak.  This is really an impossibility since the mind can only plan about 7 words ahead (this is all in one of the lessons in The Writing Course ). Here’s my thought for your son (who does need to get talking more)…he needs to use both hands.   Talking and quiet are both parts of our personality.  Talkers need to learn how to hush, and quiet folks need to learn how to speak up.  This is what I mean by using both hands.  We are all basically either left or right handed…but we can learn to use the non-favored one. Emerson observed that the greater part of courage is having done it before…so, I’d just get him talking.  If you know a book he likes, have him read it aloud to you some everyday.  Have everyone at dinner tell something that was fun (or funny) from the day.  Anything that gets him talking and learning that he doesn’t have to have the perfect words will help.  He likely just needs to realize that the world doesn’t end when he talks.  Of course, he will never be the talker you daughter is (I’m guessing here).  With talking…some is good, more is better (in his case). As to writing…he needs to be doing copy work if he isn’t writing his own stuff (10 is still usually a little young for much writing).  On the other hand, he can write single sentences that are OK (that he makes up).  He must be pointedly discouraged from writing GREAT sentences.  He must first learn to write OK…and get great later on. Is this a help? God bless, Fred Lybrand P.S.  If you don’t make it a practice, please hug your children together at the same time (not separately as much)…this makes a big difference, but I’ll have to explain it some other time. Grading Help: 

Fred Ray Lybrand

Dr. Lybrand and his wife (Jody) of 34 years homeschooled their 5 children from birth to college, where they all excelled in academics and community (University of Texas & Abilene Christian). With their combined degrees (2 BA's, 2 Masters, 1 Doctorate), Fred and Jody have stuck with their faith and their obsession with practical learning. As a result, the overall theme of "Teaching Them to Learn How to Learn" invades everything they offer. Dr. Lybrand pastored for 25 years and currently coaches, consults, and trains businesses, churches, and non-profits. Among his client list are the U.S. Air Force, CRU, Be Broken, Continental Resources, State Farm Insurance, and Pioneer Natural Resources.Of course, his favorite interest is helping homeschoolers excel, and does so with the 10 Courses of The College-Ready Collection.Dr. Fred Ray Lybrand Jr.

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