So, I saw this article title and said to myself, “Free Will.”
Clearly I’m wrong. You see, everything is about your genes…you are a victim (even if it turns out to be a blessing). If your genes tell you to be depressed, a bad kid, or a good parent…you will obey.
I’m sure they don’t mean it…but won’t we be seeing legal defenses built around genes? Hey, it’s not your fault that you are a murderer or a thief…it’s just gene hp781r13…etc.
Here’s the article:
Scientists have a discovered a gene that they believe allows some kids to shake off abusive or neglectful parents to become happy adults. Read more: Why Your Kid Might Not Respond to Your Good—or Bad—Parenting …
Now, here’s my thought:
Our genetics are more of a ‘temptation’ than a command. If we discover an ‘alcoholism gene’, it still doesn’t excuse destroying lives. This notion is going to destroy a lot of lives.
Human beings are still ‘plastic’ (as they say). I was born (genetically) as a left-handed person, but I write, throw, golf, drive, and cut my food with my right hand. How can that be? Well, my parents ‘changed me over’ because the experts of the day told them to…my life would be better. Of course, I lucked out to have parents who had the gene to ignore my genetics (or was it the gene to obey experts?).
At any rate, we need to stay awake and stay sane in the midst of the violent sea of science, psuedo-science, opinion, experts, and experimentation.
Our children can still be shaped and they can still rebel…genes are just another factor in the mix. Genes are not the Master.
I know the answer is, “Of course!” But honestly, does anyone act like they really believe it’s true?
My experience is that parents and administrators and couples and bossess are all oblivious to the power of the environment.
Here’s a quick argument for how homeschooling builds family bonds. It is obvious, and sometimes it is out of line (refer to Jerry Springer’s guest list)
When homeschooling you do address these issues as well as give your children a sound education not to mention building their character too. Despite where we went to school ourselves, we are still very aware of just what a …
Nonetheless, we all seem to quickly pretend that enviroment doesn’t matter. Most of us have experienced something as simple has having a friend who ‘wasn’t good for us.’ True? I mean, even though you liked them, didn’t they get you in trouble?
How much more for our kids? It honestly isn’t about homeschool or private school or public school— it is about the reality that you as a parent will turn out to be a complete and total assessory to the crime if you never give guidence to your babies.
Frankly, they want it! I must confess, our years of hard work is paying off as we see our kids become selective about the people they involve in their lives.
This isn’t about serving the needy or ministering to the challenged…this is about intimate relationships. The intimate relationship in your life will dictate much (it’s the way it goes).
How much more your own children?
This is a wake up call…catch on…don’t whimp out!
Think for a moment of the most influencial people in your own life…aren’t you thankful for the quality people you got to connect with? Why not get intentional about the whole thing now with your kids?
They will rise up and call you “blessed.”
Peace to you,
Recently I listened to the biography about Steve Jobs where he made an observation about ‘sales’ for us to chew on, “People don’t know what they want until you show it to them.”
I think he is on to something. How much more our kids? Why not compile a list of ‘possibilities’ for the summer…no one says you can or should do them all. Sitting around bored or undirected is just a matter of no planning (at all).
Here’s a starter kit/example from an article online:
….the rest of the list is here: 64 Things to do with Your Kids this Summer
EVEN BETTER (as a Quick List): 100 THINGS TO DO THIS SUMMER
Now, I’ll throw in another possibility: Start a blog and have the kids practice writing (or helping you phrase things as you write) describing your own list and activities and how it went / what you all discovered…this will keep them in shape for school with words and language (for help… The Writing Course ;-). Blogs are really easy and you can post your links in Facebook or send them to friends / family by email. No need for perfection…just get started. Blogger.com or WordPress or Tumblr should do the trick (always use discernment with your own family standards).
Post your ideas below to share with others.
This turns out to be an important distinction that can make a big difference in your day-to-day productivity:
All our best,
Fred Ray Lybrand
How about a little honesty: We all want to succeed, true?
Success just means that we get the end result we want. If you want to graduate college and don't, you just can't call that success. You might be successful, but not on that point because you didn't successfully complete college (what you wanted). Of course, there's nothing necessarily special about having to complete college (ask Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg); but if it is your aim, then success means finishing.
Even spiritual goals like peace and joy and kindness can only be considered successful for us when we get them. The challenging thing about success is that it REQUIRES FAILURE. I developed the diagram below a few weeks ago after finishing our Mastering Goals Course (especially for kids). When I showed it to Jody she said, "You came up with that?" I said, "Yep, I did just now." She said again, "You did that?" Now, that's one of her best compliments (and I am grateful) because she instantly got the point...which, on occasion, she misses because I can get a little complicated if I don't watch myself. Apparently I passed the keep-it-simple-silly test this time!
OK, so there's not much to it. It kind of sounds like "If at first you don't succeed, try try again." And, while that's OK, it doesn't really grasp the important fact that FAILURE is a necessary step in the process. Moreover, LEARNING is also a required step toward success. The idea is that you are in a not-yet-successful box that you must break out of by outwardly moving from trying, to failing, to learning, to Trying again.
This is exactly how it works...we all, who can, learned to walk this way. We tried and failed and learned and EVENTUALLY walked! Aren't you glad the first time you plopped down on your bottom no one said, "You failure, you'll never learn to walk!" and left it at that?
All of us need to be cheered on, and we must learn that failing is a part of learning. I know it's simple, but most miss it. In preparing our kids to leave home and impact the world (or at least survive / thrive), we simply must get them to value failing and learning and trying again.
We have a great course that can help you make this real in their lives. Check it out by clicking on Mastering Goals.
Off to fail,
Dr. Fred Ray Lybrand
P.S. Okay, sometimes there are one-hit-wonders...but it only happens rarely and NEVER in multiple areas for anyone's life. Best to get used to The Outward Spiral of Success!